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First off, yay! I'm our of NAS! Woot! I'm so happy and everything. I'm actually going through my tech school right now which is totally awesome! 

Uhm...hm...I really have nothing else to say on personal matters. 


Now, for some serious business. This journal should be rightfully posted on DeviantArt, where the person in question hangs out. But due to her malicious nature and "Holier-Than-Thou" complex and her army of attack dogs this journal is getting posted here.

Sam, if you're reading this. I'll break it down very simply for you.

READ R-E-A-D IT I-T CAREFULLY CARE-FUL-LY C-A-R-E-F-U-L-L-Y. (But seriously, I do not wish to break this down to Barney level or heaven forbid Dora the Explore style. PRINTER WORK-ING FINE. NO FIX-ING NE-ED. PRINTER NOT UN-PLUG-GED.)  

First off, I solemnly swear to claim that I'm not a total expect of the subject, I do like to claim that I'm a fair bit more knowledgeable on the subject matter than most.

First off, this is pretty much debunking a lot of what Sam believes to be true or proper about the Narutoverse and of course Uchiha Madara.
I would like to point out that Kishimoto wanted to based his next story on TRADITIONAL JAPANESE CULTURE.

First let's examine the words used.

Traditional (by definition, dictionary used WordBook iPhone/iPod Touch application): 1) consisting of or derived from tradition. 2) pertaining to time-honored orthodox doctrines.

Japanese (by common knowledge): Pertaining to the language and/or people of the islands of Japan.

Culture (by definition, dictionary used WordBook iPhone/iPod Touch application): 1) a particular society at a particular time and place.

What does this mean?
Answer: Kishimoto wanted his story to be set in a time period before Western influences reached Japan.
Note: Samurai culture is deeply rooted in the hearts of all Japanese people, anyone that has watched a History Channel documentary about Samurai will know this.

What was considered "traditional" or rather "common place" in this time period.

1. The Samurai (the warrior class) were in power.
2. The ruling head of Japan was the Shogun, a warlord.
3. The Emperor was nothing more than a puppet.
4. Women were treated better if they were born into a samurai family. r
5. Arrange marriages were common among the warrior and upper class.
6. Romantic love was between two men NOT between a man and a woman, among the warrior class.

Six key points.

Now, since I rather discuss Madara during the Pre-Konoha, lets see how that period of Naruto ties into Kishimoto's want to base the story off of Traditional Japanese Culture.
First off, any of us that write, gather ideas from the world around us. If you write a fantasy story and want to put dragons in it, you naturally would have the setting in the middle ages, with knights in shining armour and princesses trapped in towers. While with a vampires, you are more incline to put it into an urban setting or Industrial Revolution setting.
We can all agree on this yes?

Since we have already established the fact that Kishi wants it to be traditional Japanese culture, and has stated in the manga, that Madara's youth was a time of great war and strife. What, period of Japanese history would he draw off to craft his story?
The Warring States Period. A time of great war, bitter clan rivalries, and strife. This also happens to be the heyday of samurai and shinobi alike.
Okay, so we have established that Pre-Konoha was probably based off of the Warring States period, Naruto's time period, if I have to guess would probably be early Meiji Era, just when Western Influence was starting to take hold of Japan.
So, we have two time periods in Japanese history that fit the bill for TRADITIONAL JAPANESE CULTURE.
Moving on.

Now, I shall discuss Madara's role as clan leader and why Madara's marriage in the most plausible sense would be arranged.

We can all agree that Madara was the ultimate authority in his clan. He had the final say-so. Keep this in mind, while I directed your attention to the Hyuga clan, our closest model of clan set up in Naruto.

Hiashi is the clan leader. He didn't want to kill his brother to save the clan. There was a Hyuga elder present, as well as Sandaime and Hizaishi. It would not be far fetched to say that Hiashi was, in a sense, pressured into going along with killing his brother.

But, but, but! Hiashi is the head of the clan! He can just say no and be done with it.


The Hyuga elder was correct in saying that the clan head has to bite the bullet, put aside personal desires and do what is ultimately for the clan's greater good. In this sense Hizaishi had to die to protect Konoha, Hiashi, Hyuga and the Byakugan.

Now, I shall direct your attention back to Madara.
When in the manga do we see a similar example?
The events leading up to the Uchiha-Senju alliance. Madara is clearly the leader of the Uchiha clan, and he stated himself that he was against such an alliance. Yet the clan wanted a peace with the Senju, they were tired of fighting.

What happened to Madara having the ultimate say-so? He could've just said no.


A leader must know when to put personal desires aside and put the greater good of whatever they are leading first. Madara isn't dumb, he knew that in order to stay in power, he had to abide by the wishes of the clan. Hence, he bit the bullet and agreed to the peace. It was only after the peace that the Uchiha betrayed him, siding with Hashirama and ultimately abandoning Madara.

Now, the subject of arranged marriages.

Lots of people today, would ultimately say choosing you life-partner is the best choice. And I agree.

There are still arranged marriages going on today. India is a good example. I remember reading an article in National Geographic, the article was about India, and they asked an Indian bride of an arranged marriage if she was happy. Her answer? Yes, she was happy with the arranged marriage.

Now, of course her culture is built around arranged marriages so its a normalcy for her.
And it was back in Feudal Japan.

A man could have one legal wife and as many mistresses as he wanted.
It was expected of the clan head, to marry, and produce an heir.
Brother did not succeed brother. In fact brother typically hated brother (so for Hashirama and Tobirama, Madara and Izuna, to have such strong bonds, was unusual for the time period) and fought against one another.
Women had very little say so in their lives. They were expected to:
1. Honor their husband.
2. Honor their father (brother in the case of father's death, or oldest male relative).
3. Honor their mother-in-law.
4. Produce sons.
5. Take care of the children and the house.
If Daddy says you're gonna marry Mike then you will smile and say "Yes Daddy, I'll be happy to marry Mike."
You did not want to dishonor your father and hence shame your family by saying no. Japanese are very big on honor, especially during that time period.

Now, lets go back to Madara.
We have established that he is:
A) The Clan leader
B) Will not go against the clan if the entire clan (or vast majority) agree to something.
C) As clan leader he's expected to secure his bloodline, by marrying and having an heir.

Madara probably wasn't the only clan leader in Uchiha history, they were a warrior clan. The strongest ruled!? Explain that!
I shall direct your attention to a lion pride. You can liken it to a warrior clan, the strongest male rules and breeds with the females. What happens when a new male comes into power? He kills all the cubs. So? How does this relate to the Uchiha? 
The leader probably gave the sons of the previous leader two choices:
A) Submit to my will and live
B) Die.
(The daughters of previous leaders were added to the new leader's harem.)

Why didn't Madara do that?
He probably did do that with the sons. I feel he was quiet young when he took power. Probably in his early teens. (We'll get to the subject of sex in a moment). He had no interest in women, for he was very ambitious, sex and breeding was the furthest thing on his mind.

So? How would Madara find a wife?
Not on his own, that's for sure. Women were a hindrance to his plans, his goals. Time for that later. The only way to get him to marry was to physically force him to marry. Ie, an arrange marriage.
But to whom!? Someone in the clan? Possibly, it'll keep the Sharingan bloodline pure. Aa, but then comes the subject of inbreeding. I'm sure lots of clans at the time took prisoners of clans they conquered, but Madara would not lower himself to marry let alone bed, a women he deems a "spoils of war". I also believe the Uchiha (and the rest of the clans) from time to time would marry outside of their clan, preferably to a family that isn't a ninja clan to prevent conflict with their Sharingan, but they needed the genetic diversity or risk inbreeding and thus fewer able bodied warriors.
Thus, I conclude that Madara's wife was probably of non-shinobi birth, and considering his status as clan leader, was also of gentle-birth (for those that don't know, that's fancy talk for noble birth or highborn/high blood).

Madara and his wife, probably had a lot of ups and downs, getting over their mutual hatred for each other and the general situation. But eventually, they would come to understand, accept and love each other. And thus a child would be born from their union.

But, Madara could just rape her and get her pregnant that way.

No. I don't think he would.

But Madara is a heartless warrior, women and their feelings probably meant nothing to him.

Again. That probably would be correct, if I haven't noticed that the Uchiha seem to pride themselves on honor and emotional restraint, this lead me to believe that Kishimoto's ideal image of a samurai warrior is probably the Uchiha. Kishimoto has stated that the Kaguya clan extremely brutal and bloodied minded, and when addressing the Uchiha he uses the word "elite" a lot. Now, elite gives the impression, that this clan  [Uchiha] were highly effective at everything they did, and had a moral code of some form, oppose to senselessly killing their opponent like the Kaguya.
So, no. Madara would not lower himself to rape a woman. He of course, is not above suggesting that if she doesn't behave that he would rape her, but actually following through on that threat, not likely.

To conclude: Madara had an arranged marriage to a noble woman. This is the most plausible scenario.

Now onto the subject of sex.

I personally believe that Madara was a man that was very uptight about sex. He probably felt it was something that stayed in a couple's bedroom and didn't leave their bedroom. I also feel he was sorry fangirls this will break your heart awkward and clumsy in bed. Why? Because like I said before, he probably didn't really consider fucking random girls very high on his daily to-do list. So, he probably had little to none prior experience in the bedroom.

Another point to make. Since sex wasn't one of Madara's top priorities, he wouldn't be so driven obsessed with taking a girl's virginity. He was man that probably felt a man's "manliness" was displayed on the battlefield not the bedroom. So, therefore the quest for taking a girl's virginity is mute and pointless. Once the act was complete, Madara would proceed to leave it on the side of the road and walk away. Sex to him was just a natural function of life. Something he had to do. He was not and never will be a sex fiend. He also probably didn't view sex as a stress relief. His form of stress relief was sparing with his brother. (Poor Izuna, always facing a very stressed out Madara.)

Now, let's move ahead eighty odd years.

I would like to direct your attention to a quote (it is not verbatim) that Uchiha Itachi said to Sasuke: Madara is nothing more than a bitter beaten dog.

I would like to you all the keep that in mind. Sam, that means wake up and read, I know this so terribly boring for you (yes that is sarcasm),  I'm not doing this to hear myself talk, if I wanted to do that, I'd just tell my friends.  

What are Madara's goals now?

1. Revenge against Konoha, Senju and Uchiha.
2. World domination, he claims this to be world peace, but a world wide Tsukuyomi is just a fancy way of saying mind control.

What is his personality traits then and now? 

Madara's true personality is considerably calmer and much more serious, but he still has a habit of joking around and disrespecting everyone around him. Despite his current limitations in battle, he is extremely arrogant. (Source Narutopedia article on Uchiha Madara).

In his past, he probably displayed more of the joking around side. He probably had a dark sense of humor considering his lifestyle, but as his "Tobi" persona shows, he was able to act like a complete goof. So, its safe to presume that he was probably a bit more laid back in the Pre-Konoha era.

Madara is a warlord, a general, a warrior. Which means, he was a brilliant strategist, tactician and all-around fighter. Uchiha are toted for producing high intelligent shinobi. Madara is calculating, very calculating. Hell, he's spend eighty years on this plan to take revenge on Konoha alone. He's thought of every possible angle.
Madara, is also known to use people.
Madara is also known to be very manipulative, and then claim total innocence in manipulating the person, claiming they acted on their own free will. Prime example is the story of Izuna losing his sight.
Madara also does not take interest in a person unless he plans to use them. If Naruto didn't have the Kyuubi Madara would see him nothing more than a bane but ultimately unworthy of his time and attention.

So, with that in mind and the prior statement of Madara is not a sex fiend. Let me explain.

Madara would not sit in a tree, in the middle of Konoha, and watch an under age girl sleep, having dirty thoughts about her, to the point of physical orgasm. He's an Uchiha. Uchiha are very uptight about their emotions, an orgasm would fall under the physical display of the emotion of lust. And to continue this, Madara also had wet dreams about said girl. I don't know how well you paid attention to sex education in high school, but a wet dream is when a man dreams of having sexual intercourse, in layman's terms it means he has an orgasm while sleeping.

The sad thing about Madara, is that people tend to forget about this. They often focus on a very narrow aspect of his complete personality. Creating OCs to fit certain notches or nooks of his personality, blindly claiming that's the "true" Uchiha Madara, while forgetting about the rest of him. A prime example is Eri Sincera.

Eri Sincera for lack of a better word is a Mary Sue. Or, Bella Swan's little sister. Either way, the character is poorly thought out. (And the plot of Eri's story is eerily similar to Twilight. Hmm....I smell something fishy going on, me thinks.)
Its okay Sam, we have all been there before. The thing between you and Stephanie Meyer is that she was able to publish her stories and get away with it, you my sweet aren't.

Eri Sincera has:
1. No personality.
2. Her bloodline limits are foggy at best ultimately making no sense.
3. Madara's reason for obsessing over her is unclear.

Sam, now correct me if I'm wrong, but you stated (and boasted) that Eri is a tomboy? Yet you listed in your recent journal on DeviantArt, Eri's traits, which all are motherly in nature. You aren't staying constant with your character.

Sam herself has stated that she created Eri with white hair and blue eyes, for physical contrast and to emphasize the yin-yang concept (that's all well and good), but her first picture of Eri was in 2009 yet Sam herself claims to have created Eri  "...4-5 years ago [on dA with "Tobi"/Madara 2-3 years]".

Another thing that gets me Sam, is you claim to have a love for physical contrast, yin-yang, irony; that Eri was just gonna be a simple Naruto OC, but as learned about "Tobi"/Madara you began to shape Eri into his ideal partner. Yet how could you love the "contrast"  if originally you had no interest in "Tobi"/Madara until 1-2 years later.

So ultimately, Sam, Eri Sincera is not Madara's ideal love. You have forgotten several key points on Madara and you dare care other people out on how they write him? And you dare claim that you are an "expert" on Uchiha Madara?

Sam, sweetheart, read carefully these lyrics.

You don't have to believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger i might have to bend it back
And break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger I'll point you to the mirror

If Gods the game that you're playing
Well we must get more acquainted
Because it has to be so lonely to be the only one who's holy
It's just my humble opinion but it's one that i believe in
You don't deserve a point of view
If the only thing you see is you...

Playing God (c) Paramore

And that my friends is why MadaEri fails to dazzle those of higher intelligence. As my dad always says, you either must baffle them with brilliance or bedazzle them with bullshit.
Sam, honey, pat yourself on the back, you managed to bedazzle the entire internet with your bullshit.


Release the Kraken! Mew....

Just a randon journal. My life is hell, nuff said. School sucks so, what else is new/




Now for some random shit.

You say Jonas Brothers, I say NIGHTWISH
You say Miley Cyrus, I say TARJA
You say Britney Spears, I say WITHIN TEMPTATION
You say Counting Crows, I say EPICA
You say Backstreet Boys, I say WE ARE THE FALLEN

You say Pop, I scream METAL!


Instructions: Put your ipod or music player on shuffle and copy down the song. It's like for a movie version of your life.


Opening credits: It's Not My Time (3 Doors Down) Ooohkay...

Waking up:  Sweet Sacrifice (Evanescence) Hehe...nice

First day of school:  Beyond Me (After Forever) Suuure, I'll roll with that...

Falling in love: Savin' Me (Nickelback) I do think this is a really good love song.

Fighting: Careless Whispers (Seether) Hehe...yeah...no.

Breaking up: To The Edge (Lacuna Coil) Oh, yeah. I can see it.

Driving: Seven Days (Bullet For My Valentine) Hehe...sure, whatever

Flashback:  Thoughtless (Evanescence) I guess it'll work.

Mental Breakdown:  By The Way (Hinder) Sooooo, not a mental break down song XD 

Getting back together:  Of Wolf and Man (Metallica) heheh....I'm the wolf.

Wedding:  Foresaken (Within Temptation) okay, Sharon does have a nice voice...I'll give you that

Birth of a child:  The Road I'm On (3 Doors Down) Um...

Final battle:  Man of the Hour (Falconer) hehe XD I'm doomed.

Death scene:  Quietus (Epica) hehe...

Funeral: The Last FIght (Bullet For My Valentine) Epicness

End credits: .Needles (Seether) That's all folks!


Instructions: put your ipod or music player on shuffle and the song that pops is the answer to each question.

1.How does the world see you? Heights (Eyes Set to Kill) Heh, I wish they rest of the world saw me as something like that...
2. Will I have a happy life? Save Me (Shinedown) Oh, gods! I hope I have a happy life now!
3. What do my friends really think of me? The Hollow, Pt. 1 (Eyes Set to Kill) O___o
4.Do people secretly lust after me? To The Edge (Lacuna Coil) Oh, I know they do XD
5. How can I make myself happy? Alone (Bullet For My Valentine) I do like being alone...

6. What should I do with my life? Over and Over (Three Days Grace) Heh, damn it ipod! Make sense!
7. What is some good advice for me? He Is Ocean (Emarosa) Suuure, why don't you go with that XD
8. How will I be remembered? Withering Time (After Forever) Yes time! Wither! Wither into dust!
9. What is my signature dancing song? Up There (VersaEmerge) I don't dance -.-
10. What do I think my current theme song is? The Day That Never Comes (Metallica) T___T Why couldn't I get something Nightwish?

11. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? Until I Met You (Teardown) No. Just no.
12. What song will play at my funeral? Deconstruct (Epica) Oh, yes, I'll have an epic funeral XD
13. What type of men/women do you like? All Should Be Gone (Teardown) No comment
14. What is my day going to be like? And All Things Will End (Avenged Sevenfold) Yes, the day will end.

15. What will tomorrow bring?
Iced Heart (Teardown) Bwahahahaaaaaaa!


1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
4. Put any comments in parentheses after the song name.

1. What would you say about your boyfriend? The Secret by Visions of Atlantis (Heh...sweet.)
2. What is the first thing you say in the morning? And All Things Will End by Avenged Sevenfold (Jeez, I'm such an emo goth chick XD)
3. Your teacher is... Like You by Evanescence (OH HELL FUCKING NO!)
4. What's written on your classroom's blackboard? She Don't Want The World by 3 Doors Down (If only...if only)
5. How would you describe your next-door neighbors? Lost Tree by VersaEmerge (I don't have neighbours)
6. What would your Best Friend say about you? That's What You Get by Paramore (Oh, my best friend loves me SO MUCH [note the sarcasm])
7. How do you feel right now? Dead Gardens by Nightwish (Meh, pretty much)
8. What’s on your bedside table right now? Nightquest by Nightwish
9. What did you do when you woke up this morning? Cosign to Oblivion by Epica (Actually I vacuumed my room...O__o)
10. When you open your wardrobe, you see... Lips Of An Angel by Hinder (Yeah....sure)
11. What did you say after you last attended a concert? Sahara by Nightwish (I've never been to an actual concert before?)
12. If you had to write a Fan Fic right now, what would it be called? The Road I'm On by 3 Doors Down (And it would be either MadaMei or ItaHana or SasuSaku or all three)
13. A song you would sing at your school's talent show? Snow White Queen by Evanescence (I love this song)
14. Your life's theme song? Burn To A Cinder by Epica (I'm not a liberty to say)
15. How would you describe what you are doing this moment? Never Enough by Epica (Haha! Ironically its so true!)
16. If you had to go and jump off a building, what would your last words be? Bye Bye Beautiful by Nightwish (Oh, hell yeah!)
17. Your motto is... Njord by Leaves' Eyes
18. If you could buy anything in this world, you would buy... Out Of My Way by Seether (I'm getting manga and books!)
19. What did you dream about tonight? One by Coheed &Cambria (Actually, I dreamt about drawing Sai wearing a cloak...my actual dream was very weird)
20. Any last words? Forsaken by Within Temptation

OMGAWD! Someone Help Me!

yI ha
Alternate Title: Shojo Manga does not equal Real Life!!!!
Alternate Alternate Title: DJ writes too much fanfiction.
Alternate Alternate Alternate Title: DJ READS too much Shojo Manga.


So, the best way for me to deal with my really screwy emotions, so totally should NOT have told my friends (which was such an unbrilliant idea....*grumble grumble*) , because of what happened LAST weekend.

Okay, so uhm....where to begin.


Tobi: I love story time.
Madara: Tobi, go away.
Sasuke: Like seriously.
SASUKE! What the hell!? Why are you eating my pocky!?
Itachi: Hn.
Sasuke: Uhm...>.> Cause its good. Why? 

Itachi: Why don't you start at the beginning?

Okay. so, anyways. There is this guy in my ATT class.
He's basically my dream guy.
He respects me. Thinks I'm pretty, loves like everything I like, AND can fix computers.

Those are my requirments for a guy. Well, and a good sense of humor, which he does have.

Problem #1: He's married. Regardless if he and his wife have a understanding (and the fact that wifey is on the other side of the country), I just don't feel right getting into a deep emotional relationship with a married guy. Other than friendship.
Problem #2: He's a 2nd class petty officer. Not that there's anything I can do, and its not like he can advance my rank or anything, but still.


I let him feel me up. -___- Yes, hand under the shirtk stroking me gently, *glare* Don't give me that look! I liked the physical contact!
And then we talked. He told me he wanted to do naughty naughty things that didn't involve me being dressed to me, and that he's really attrached to me, loves my personality and my writing style and we have a lot of similar things in common. Then he kinda kissed me. I told him it was my first kiss (hint: This implies that everything in a relationship would be my first).

Okay, that was around eight o'clock Sunday morning. I haven't spelt since Friday night. I'm virtually brain dead.

I then get a four hour cat nap.
Around five we go to wal mart.
But before that!

He holds me. You know like arms aroudn my waist and I kinda tell him that I hope my week doesn't turn shitty. And he tells me he will help me and then really kisses me. Slow and gently.

And my tired brain just freezes.

And I'm like.

This doesn't happen to me.
Should I be kissing back.
This only happens in fanfiction.
Would he think I don't like him if I don't kiss back?
This only happens in shojo manga.
Damn. I'm such a noob at this.

Then I pull away and rests my head on his chest to listen to his heart, trying to process this. And in his arms I felt so safe and warm and almsot like I was home. I then tell him again about my woes at school and he tells me to don't let it get to me. That he'll be there for me.


So, we go to wal mart. I'm feeling totally awkward around him, trying to process everything.
And when he patted my shoulder in class Monday. I wanted him to just hold me.

I don't know what's up with my emotions.

Maybe its because its the first guy that's actually told me these things and its all so new to me. I want to cling to this feeling.
But in my heart. I know he isn't the one. He's just a friend.
A really good friend.
That really shouldn't be kissing me.
Even if I did enjoy it.
And wanted to kiss him back....


And I don't want to say. "Hey, can we just be friends," and anything.

Ugh.....I don't know what to do.

Anyways, that's my weekend.


Fallen in love with "Fallen"!

*points to title* I can grammatically do that assholes! >__< So don't bitch! Otherwise I'll send Woofy my rabid man eating weredog to eat your brains! *evil isnane laugh*
Sasuke: Have you been taking something? 
Shut up Emo boy. I hate that I love you. Cause you've just gotten so bat shit insane lately (I peeked a little bit at how far he's fallen TT___TT Why Sasuke!? WHY! *dramatic anime tears*) If anyone needs to take something its you. Your insanity is at a new record. *hugs Madara* And I've been obessed with this guy too much lately. Sheesh.

As for my life NOT online....
Z! OH MY DAMN FUCKING GOD! My school is sucking the SOUL out of me! Help....ME! Its evil! -____- And so totally boring! Its sucking the soul out of my body! Noooooooooo! Which is part of the reason why I haven't been posting ANYTHING up on fanfiction, even though I have like three chapters a quarter of the way written (and a shit load of rabid plot lemurs [plot lemurs are worse than plot bunnies...a lot worse...trust me]). I just have NO FUCKING TIME! 
And that's why my Mommy hasn't gotten her Mother's Day card and gift (and the $20 for my cell phone...medokusei, as soon as I get a steady paycheck my parents want me to pay them sheesh. What's up with that? *stabs Frodo and Neji just for good measure*) because school is sucking the life out of me! I'm gonna be a zombie by the time I leave Florida for Christmas. Ugh. The only time I have is the weekend (Saturday and Sunday are SO FUCKING short) and I would do it then but I spend my time doing things that try to bring the LIFE back into ME becaue it got sucked out during the week! 
Lucky we get like a four day weekend (maybe five if they tell us to ditch Thrusday, I'm in Night school, so we get cool perks like that ^__^ when Henry isn't being an evil bitch, damn I hate that guy! >__<)  so I defiantelly gonna send my parents some money and my mom her mother's day stuff and then repeat the process next month...or maybe just take out three months worth and get my dad's father's day stuff to him NOW so I don't have to worry about it later....hmm...

And now for the DJ's Stupid Moment: I got SUNBURNED on my EYELIDS! 
I don't know.
I wish I did.
I really wish I did.
Like totally -___- really wish I did. -___-
But it happened. I don't know how but it did. I hate this state. I want to go back home to Washington! *cries* (And I want somebody to read this journal and comment on it! I want to feel loved and wanted! Wait I already am...but still! *flail* Someone comment damn you!) Where its not humid and hot! Where we actually have FOUR FUCKING seasons not just one. I want my kitties and my mommy and daddy and my screwed up sister.
Sasuke: And you say I'm emo? 
I said shut up Sasuke! *kicks him* I'm mad at you right now. Going evil like that. Making your chakra so cold and dark like Madara. *shakes head* How could you Sasuke! After everthing Itachi did for you! How could you betray your brother like that! And how in the hell did you make your Susanoo look like Oogie Boogie from Nightmare Before Christmas?
Sasuke: Itachi killed the entire clan...and you know what. I'm not going to explain myself to you.
Fine, I'll just let Sakura and Karin have their way with you.
Stage Hand: Suigetsu and Karin are dating.
Ooh! Goodie! That means Sakura can break Sasuke's penis! 
Sasuke: O___O I'LL BE GOOD!
Yes, I know I'm insane *totally ignoring Sauske* They should make Naruto Puppet Pals XD That'll be epic.
As for my new favorite Uchiha toy, its Madara. XD I have so many plot ideas, I actually am getting close to the point to writing a really epic Madara fic, that chronciles how exactly he fell into darkness WHILE keeping the key points that Kishimoto has said that Madara hates Konoha so much, and have my own twists to it. *rubs hands together evilly* So, looking for to actually getting TIME to WRITE it. Uuh....damn, I just lost my train of thought.

Oh, yes...the new book I found. *evil grin*

Fallen is epically amazing! Here's the wiki link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fallen_(2009_novel) and I stayed up until MIDNIGHT reading it. I'm 100 pages into it, and its SO GOOD! Espcially where my black arm warmers I got from Hot Topic and my black PJs and listening to Evanescence XD I'm seriously more goth than punk actually.
Its a young adult *cough*teen*cough* novel, and its a fantasy/supernatual romance genre.

So, yeah...
Its like Twilight.
WIthout the gay werewolves and the vegan vampires that sparkle.

Fallen is actaully dark.
And sad.
And really gothic and really good.
Written by someone that actually fucking WRITES like a normal person and its so totally not bad fanfiction like gay Twilight.
Twitard: Have you ever read Twilight? 
Uh....sorta. I've read the first three pages.
Twitard: That's hardly anything, you can't see the deep romance that Edwad and Bella share by the first three pages! 
No, I can't but I can tell the writing style is dumb down for bimbo blonds to understand. Unlike the first Harry Potter which was written much more simply than the other books, it was still engaging and written by someone that could actually tell a story!
Twitard: Stephanie Meyer can tell a story!
Debatable, but Stephen King (horror master) even said Meyer can't write. Now, Sasuke, in order to redeem yourself somewhat. Trap her in a genjutsu.
Sasuke: But...I'll lose my sight!
Just do it, and I won't have Sakura break your penis, just every bone in your body minus your skull.
Sasuke: Fine.

Why should you read Fallen?
Other than the fact that its a good story that's written on a level geared for 16-19 year olds, the plot itself its actually interesting and there is a mystery to it.
What called my interest while reading the summary was that Luce (our heroine) is in love with Daniel (ironically my brother's name our...main love interest) but Daniel hates Luce and wants nothing to do with her.

Now....for you Naruto fans that read this...if any at all do -___-
Who's relationship does that sound eerily like totally exactly similar to? 

Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura's! 

Now, I'm not saying that Daniel is some angst driven kid our for revenge and Luce is a little useless crybaby. (Even though she's kinda is a little bit, but then again...oh just read it!)
What I'm saying is that the basic concept of SasuSaku is there. The reason why I like SasuSaku (other than the fact Sasuke and Sakura do make a cute couple) is the fact that Sasuke hates Sakura. I find it engaging and interesting. Here, Sakura loves Sasuke, and he tries to kill her!? 

Of course the most Daniel has done to Luce is flip her off, but still. The analogy is almost there...
I personally think that hate turned to love is probably the strongest and truest form of love. Because you've seen that person at their absolute worse, but you still love them. That takes a lot of guts to do.
Not that NaruHina doesn't have a very pure form of love...they do too, but so do Sasuke and Sakura (as soon as Sasuke pulls his head out of his ass, or maybe its his stomach, depends on how far he shoved it up there again. Idiot.)

That's why I feel that Fallen is gonna be really good, and a lot better than Twilight.

I've found my "Twilight". My teen novel to get totally foaming mouth fangirl crazy about.

Read it.
Its good.

Now. On to some moral subject.
Which kinda has to do with Naruto.

I first off, need to catch up (I don't really mind spoilers and kinda read on Narutopedia what an ass Sasuke has become...TT___TT I'll pray to Bast for his soul to be saved). But what caught me was that Kishimoto is subconcsiously telling people that love will bring about peace not power.

I have to disagree. I'm siding with Madara that power will bring peace.


And there is always a but....

You also need love.  (That's why the Sage of Six Paths was a complete ASS! ANd I'll explain in a minute.)

First off.

Power will bring about peace.

Some people, like insane dictators (Hitler, Stalin, Saddam, and that guy in Iran, the N. Korean dude) and reilgious zealots/terrorist (Bin Laden, Saddam, that guy in Iran) need to be shown force. They need to be show a display of POWER. They aren't gonna listen to the US if the US reads them "fanfiction no jutsu" or mushy-mushy stories. They'll blow their fucking heads off and then laugh about and proceed to conquer the world.
Its been true for every point in history.
Patten realized this, and he wanted to crush Russia at the end of WW II but the pansies in the goverment said no. If we had crush Russia and China like Patten wanted to do after WW II, we would probably not be in that bad of mess we are in now with the crazy Islamic zealots. But no. We didn't.
We were winning in Vietnam when Nixon said to bomb the hell out of the VCs. But the fucking Hippies cried foul and we had to pull out.
We crushed Germany and showed them our power.
We crushed Britian back in the Revolutionary War and showed Britian just how powerful we truly are.

Genghis Kahn showed his power and crushed his enemies.

And the result of all this crushing weaker people/clans?

The Romans conqured and brought peace.
A long peace.

So in the end, power is the one that brings peace. I doubt all those poeple could have brought peace to those savage lands if they had used love. If you show that your stronger people will respect you and won't mess with you. Some people/cultures only understand might. Because that's all they've known for their entire lives.

But you also need love to MAINTAIN the peace.
The US helped rebuild Japan and Germany after WW II. We are rebuilding Iraq and Afghanistan right now as well. In an effort to MAINTAIN peace. We went in and showed our power our strenght, and to maintain it, to show the people that there was something different than hatred and death and war, we showed them love and compassion.

So in a nutshell: Power to ESTABLISH peace and Love to MAINTAIN peace.

Or for the real dummies


One alone can't do it all.

So, that's why the Sage of Six Paths is an idiot.
He should've chosen both sons to succeed him. One to establish peace and the other to maintain it.

Yes, you can argue that a lot of the famous conquers ruled with fear and power to maintain the peace, but if you look at recent history, a lot of the wars were brutal and bloody and than began a big rebuilding period, especially like WW II where the US stayed and helped rebuild German and Japan, showing our enemies that yes, we will defend our homeland, but at the same time we can be compassionate people as well.

At least that's my opinion.

But seriously on the subject of Naruto. I still siding with Madara/Akatsuki (even though I know Naruto will win in the end, I'm also rooting for him too ^^) for the main reason being its a NINJA MANGA! Ninja will always fight! Ninja DO NOT know peace! 

But hey, Naruto overall is an awesome story. And I only need 12 more volumes to complete my collection ^^ Yay! *happy dance* And one more to complete my Vampire Knight collection.

Read Fallen.

And for those Sci-Fi fans out there, The Stories of Ibis by Hiroshi Yamamoto is also really good too.


Oh my god, dude, she's an anime chick!

Life is very interesting suddenly, now that the weather is nice and I'm wearing my wicked sweet Blood+ T-shirt that I got when I bought the box set of one of the best vampire animes out there.
So I was walking towards Portside Club to play on my kawaii new little laptop that I bought for myself (cause my parents told me to) for my birthday (which was totally shitty and horrible and ugh! Yeah...never mind.) to play with Skype and talk to my mom, when I passed these two guys and one was like "Aren't you gonna be hot in all that black?" and I'm like "Nah," and continue on my way. And then the same guy was like "Oh my god dude! She's an anime chick! I love that anime! My number is this!" and he starts shouting out his number and trying to convice me he seriously loves Blood+

I, of course just laugh and continue on my way. So, I talk to my mom and when I'm browsing the web, ANOTHER RANDOM DUDE comes up to me and gives me his hand and says "That's a really good anime," and I of course shake his hand and agree with him saying Blood+ is one of the best vampire animes out there. He then tells me to check out the anime +Anima.

I'm gonna have to go to the NEX to see if I can find the box set.

Mmm....what else can I say?

Oh, I fucking miss home. My birthday was shitty as hell, but the weekend was nice. School sucks, which is no surprise there, and I love my laptop but hate the fact that I only have a trial Word version! Damn you God of Lfie or whomever makes my life miserable.

I also hate my roommates, well, one is always butting into my conversation with my parents and makes comments to what I say and everything! Bitch! Can't she respect my personal space enough? And she is also so picky about the lights! I can't even play with my ipod without pulling the covers over my head! I have to go hide in the bathroom just to play my DS at night! Cause I seriously cannot fall asleep at like all! I'm such a night owl. Mendokusei.
And don't get my started on my other roommate, who is a big Christian nut! Seriously, I need to like show her that her religion is a load of crap, mendokusei! All organized religion is, that's why I worship whomever the hell I want. A girl in elementary school told me I was going to go to hell when I die, so why should I bother about my "immortal" soul anyways if its destined to go to hell? And why do I have to have Christian nuts for roommates!? DOn't they realize that the Bible is full of bullshit? 
Now, I'm against book burning *glares at Dess* but c'mon! The most correct version of the Bible is in ancient Hebrew. And my roommate (we'll call her Christy and the other Annie), Christy is like "the more I study my bible the more I believe" and she's even got Annie's friend Dani on this stupid band wagon.
Of course I can't voice my opinion at all. Mendokusei! And Christy even said cancer has cure. No. It doesn't. Show my the documented proof that it does then I'll believe you. But cancer so far has no cure. Of course if you catch cancer early enough it can be thawrted, but an actual cure, no.

Stupid ignorant bitches!


THey make me so mad!

Oh, but Megadeth is lovely.

Sorry, Dess but I have to say Megadeth's vocalist is a very good singer and I like his voice. Kinda sounds like Marco from Nightwish. But I did go buy a Metallica T-shirt yesterday, even though I'm wearing my Blood+ one today. I'm getting so many people that come and tell its a good anime or shout "Oh my god dude! She's an anime chick!"


I'm loving life right now. But school's a bitch and mendokusei.

But the battery life on my laptop is wonderful.

Oh and I updated TSB after what three months of no updates! Yay! I'm happy!

Oh, yeah, shitty birthday. Plain and simple.


Everyone should go watch Avatar! That movie is fucking amazing! Like seriously amazing! I love it! Its one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. And I so sosososososososo wished I could've seen it on the big screen but noooo, I had to go bootcamp. Stupid life.

And I need to make more space on my ipod. TT_TT its almost full. I have to get Tarja, Within Temptation and Nightwish's new ablums on it but its almsot full! And that makes me sad! *flail* 8 GB is really tiny when you have like a million songs or love music way too much!

Anyways, my batttery is like only have three hours left so I better end this soon. I'll update again later, probably vent about Christy and Annie. Dumb bitches.

Ja ne!

The Anime Chick

Its been what? Two months since my last entry? Damn, I can't believe...wait, yes, yes I can believe that.

CURSE YOU BOOTCAMP! *flails wildly*
So, now that's THAT is over, lets get on to the most epictastical ninja-tastic journal, which is done by moi.

All, I can say about bootcamp is that...

Fucking hell...I'm SO FUCKING GLAD I'm done with that! That place was nasty!

Now, I'm in sunny Florida, waiting to go to my A-school so I can learn to be an even bigger geek than I already am.

And I have like...MONEY now! Which is so totally awesome and did I mention how much I fucking LOVE Slayer? Its like so totally awesome and every and dark and gritty KYAAAAA! Slayer!

Oh, and Sasuke, your a dickwad. Like a major dickwad. But I just love you, even though you are a fucking-eyestealing-hpyocrit  that has his head so far up his ass he forgot about life cause all he sees is shit.

And Madara.....


I love you! You evil bastard you!

Whoooooooooooooooo! For chocolate covered coffee beans!

I have so much anime that its coming out of my ears! *headdesk* I'm such an otaku. Speaking of otaku, I bought the anime Genshiken. And even though, I haven't cosplayed or built models, I totally understand like EVERYTHING they are talking about. Because I've expreince similar things, like: finishing a fanfic that I put my heart and soul into, aka Tabula Rasa. And, everything! Its so awesome! I cackle insanely at Saki's reaction to like almost everything! XD

And I've realized that I'm an otaku as well ^^ and everything and gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! TDG is the best fucking band in the fucking world, but they so totally don't beat Nightwish or Paramore. XD



Two of the best fucking bands in the fucking world!

Seriously, though, going for two months without music really killed me X____X I hate bootcamp.

Aaaaaaaand I have so many story ideas for Whispers and Blind and TSB and kyaaa! I can't wait until my birthday! I'll be 21! And life is fucking awesome!

*spazzes and dies*

So, until next time!

Stay cool!

Anchors Away

Well guys....

This will be the last LJ post for a while. *sigh* Because tomorrow I'm shipping out. I'm going to bootcamp.

So, I'm just saying farewell, cause I'm gonna miss you guys. TT__TT

I'm also obessed with Uchiha Madara right now and its driving me insane. Mendokusei. Sara, Stitch, I'll be writing you, so don't you worry! I got your addresses. XD

Izuna, I'll miss you hunny. Don't worry, I'll be back bugging you when you should be writing papers for art history in now time. XD

Dess...irunno I'll miss you that's for sure.

So, guys! See ya, I'll miss you, but it'll be short. Things will go by fast I'm sure. *sigh* Its just leaving that's the hardest part.

I love you guys and I'll miss you, thank you for all the support!

Ninja Assassin

Is the best fucking movie ever!

Okay, so the only thing I have to complain about is that the abnormal amount of human blood the body apparently gushes out, and how you can survive getting stabbed in the femerald arterty and still manage to punch a dude a good couple of times.

But other than that....

It was totally fucking awesome!

Rain, who plays Raizo, is so sexy! Seriously, during the flashback sequences of Raizo's childhood, big Raizo was working out in his boxers and I wanted to jump him. That dude has a nice set of abs! Mmmmm.

I have a thing for Asain guys. And he was sexy! Like totally drop dead fuck me right now sexy. XD

So, since I'm shipping this next month (which is tomorrow! Gasp! Only two weeks left! Good thing I'm almost to chapter seventeen on TSB.) I got my Christmas gifts early.
I got a book, two Chinese style ink paintings. A grooming kit, a watch, electrict tooth brushes, and...


I was so stoked and surprised about that, cause my dad said he was gonna get me Assassin's Creed: Bloodlines. When I opened the gift, I was jumping up and down and shouting "In your face! Ha! I won! In your face! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I got the game I wanted! Hahahahaa! I win!" at my dad and he was just grinning.

Its totally better than the first two. Though I don't get Hinata TT__TT I want Hinata! She's so pretty in Shippuden. But at least I get Tenten! I love Tenten, not as much as I love Karin, but still....I love Tenten!

Oh, and I got my Nightwish CDs, hopefully they'll come before I ship. Dad says they should get here by the 12-11 at the latest. Yay! I can't wait!

Okay! That's it! I"m off to play more Naruto!
Tomorrow, I'll update TSB twice! XD I'm so full of Naruto/ninja ideas now.

Just Hold On

*near tears*

Sara first off if you do read this, by the time you read this I won't need you to call, so I'm gonna tell you right now, when you are reading this I'm probably fairly fine.

I woke up expecting it to be a fairly normal boring day, I was plannning to chat with Stitch and work more on our AU ItaHana IM story we got going. Its actually a really good one too. ^^ I'm enjoying it. I planned on updating TSB, probably gonna do that tomorrow. I have three chapters ready to be posted, the fourth is almost done. I'm almost at chapter seventeen which is where I want to stop. Probably gonna have a double posting tomorrow because I actually have chapter fourteen done and I hate stopping on thirteen. So, double posting. DAMN IT SARA! REVIEW BEFORE I LEAVE! PLEASE!

Anyways my sister calls up around erm....ten o'clock (PST) and asks to come home early, Mom lets her so she gets home around eleven-ish and they go out and ride the horses around noon.
Well, my mom gets bucked off of our horse, Bud, and at first she's like "I just hurt and need to go lie down," so I help her into the house and go back to waiting for SOMEBODY to get online.
My sister eventually makes my mom go out and help her put Bud away. After that Sister calls Dad. Dad tells me I need to take Mom to the hospital, just to be on the safe side.

I do that.

Turns out my mom has four broken ribs and a punctured lung.

It may sound serious, but its not...medically speaking.

The lung is like a balloon. It popped, so what they do is they suck the air out of the chest cavity so the lung and reinflate and its fine again. They put a chest tube in my mom (I'm squimish with blood so I didn't watch it) and admitted her into the hospital.

But tomorrow is Thanskgiving and I'm insanely worried and everything. I just got home from the trip into town, and my dad just left to pick up my brother.

And I'm so worried, so scared!

And I want to cry! I'm so worried and scared and stressed.

Some of it is because of my mom.
Some of it is because I want to get to chapter 17 on Tear Stained Blossom.
Some of it is because I'm gonna be shipping for bootcamp in two and a half week and I'll be leaving home for the first time and I'm scared.

So I'm trying to get as much time in with my friends and family, and its the holidays and I'm so stressed and scared and worried. And I just feel like crying! I'm trying to be strong for everyone. I feel like I need to be strong because I'm in the Navy, I'm a sailor, I'll be putting my life on the line for my country, for my family; so I have to be strong for them, for everyone.
And I feel like I can't do it! That I'm breaking under the pressure.

And I have nobody to lean on.

My sister is blaming herself for what happeend to my mom, and my dad is worried and my brother is in Seattle, I have no friends really where I live, they are all online. I have nobody to lean on, but myself, and I'm about to collaspe!

I really want to cry, I just want to let it all come crashing down but I can't! I won't let myself, because I have to be strong! I have to be that lighthouse in a storm, the rock standing against the crashing waves, I have to be that pillar of strenght. I feel like I have to somehow, try to keep everyone together, to keep them from falling apart.

I just wish I had a friend I can call up and talk to, but I don't. At least not locally. Its not that I pushed them away or anything, they pushed me away.

Sami said fuck you when she got into college.
Jeremy hardly keeps in touch, so he clearly doesn't want to be friends.
Tara has never spoken to me since I left Riverside.
Kim...Kim was too needy, too clingy and too much of what I didn't want myself to become.

I have no friends.

Other than, Dess, Sara, Stitch, Melissa and Peaches.
But they are all online.
I've only spoken to Sara over the phone once and that was the Monday my parents got back from dropping my brother off at college and my sister pulling that stunt (Sara still wants to kill her because of it). And it was on our cells.

Three Days Grace is really helping.

And so is this.

Sister feels like she's ruined my Christmas (since I'm shipping the 15th of December, I won't be here for Christmas, so I get to have it Saturday) but she hasn't. My dad always pulls something out of his hat. He's just cool like that.

And I'm gonna miss him when I leave.

I'm gonna miss my brother, my mom, and my bitch of a sister. Even though I know my sister hates me, I still love her. Because that's what big sisters do. They love their little sisters no matter how much they hate their big sisters, because when they are done on their luck at their lowest point, their big sisters will always be there for them. (Gee, I sound like Itachi. *headdesk* But he's totally right.)

Scratch that!

Three Days Grace isn't helping.

And I hate my hormones, I think that's why I'm so emotional, I'm on my cycle.
I just want to cry, I don't want to be strong anymore. I don't want to feel like I have to keep my family from falling apart. I just want to be happy. I don't think I'm that strong, but whenever something like this happens, I feel like I'm the glue that keeps everyoen stuck together, even though normally, I rather isolate myself, but when this happens, I know, my heart tells me or something inside me tells me that I alone am the glue that'll keep everyone together, that if I lose faith in myself, everything is gonna fall apart and that we'll only make it through this crisis if we stick together as a family and I have to hold them together, I have to be strong. And I get strong...or try to be.

I know I'm not making sense to anyone.
And probably the people that I would make sense to don't even know I'm alive, so what are they gonna do about it.
And I want to stay up for my dad, but he's gonna be home like seven o'clock tomorrow and I'm not that crazy.
But I'm not tired enough to go to bed, well I actually am but I'm too stressed/worried to go to bed.


Okay, any more ranting and I may just cry and I don't want to cry.

Personality according to me: Karin, Hinata, Tenten, Itachi.

Happy Thanksgiving people.

Writer's Block: Book review

What (if any) books would you ban from a high school library? Are there certain subjects that you feel are inappropriate for teenagers regardless of literary merit?

I would only band one book in the world.

Mien Kampf by our good insane friend (note the sacrasim) Adolf Hilter.

I hate book banding and book burning! (Yes, Dess, I'm still pissed at you for burning a Bible! I may not be religious or anything but you burned a book! And that's bad!)

Books are sacred tomes of knowledge, our passports to other worlds. Books should not be banded! And people that band books are self rightious bastards with a fucking holier than thou complex!

I mean, banding The Adventures of Huckelberry Finn just because it has the N-word in it, its ludericous! Doesn't anyone realize that THAT was how they talked back then!? That blacks today call themselves by that all the time!?

Banding Little Red Riding Hood? Uhm....why? I remember that was one of my favorite fairytales as a child!? Or the Pigman (never read the book but I'm sure its harmless). Or "Of Mice and Men" I read that book in high school and I loved it! It was a very beautiful tale! Or...fuck I forgot the title but it was like "Shelly as Two Mommies" or something, basically it was about two lebsian women raising a child.
Which in my view is completely harmless. So, they wanted to raise a child. I don't see anything wrong with that. I'm sure a lot of homosexual couples are just as loving parents as heterosexual couple, maybe even more so.
Or Animal Farm?

There are so many banded books that its stupid! We should not band books because if you look at history denying the public knowledge makes them ignorant mindless easy to control masses. Just what dicatorships LOVE!

Yes, people. Censorship is Dicatorship's little slightly less harmless brother.
Now, I'm not saying we should allow PlayBoy TV on like Nickelodeon, we have to draw a line at SOME POINT, but seriously, taking Asuma's cigarette away?
Get real.
Kids see people smoking everyday. Why should that be taking out of an anime?

Banding Huck Finn just because of the N-word when the story is NOT about racism but about a young boy growing up on the banks of the Mississippi River in a turbluant time in American history.

I've read lots of books, in high school. A lot of them I enjoyed and were on the banded list. Like To Kill a Mocking Bird (I loved that book) and Of Mice and Men and the Grapes of Wrath.

Seriously people, banding books is wrong and its just wrong and its another way for a Socialist/Communist/Marxist/Dictorship government to control us!

I highly suggest every junior and senior read 1984.

Maybe then they'll understand the horrors of ignorance.

Knowledge is power.

History proves that smart people see the writing on the wall. Why do you think the slave masters didn't allow the slaves to learn to read and writing? Because then they'll lose their control over them.


We should stop book banding!



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